The Misogyny of “Shit Girls Say”: A Poem
Despite initial confusion
(Why isn’t Juliette Lewis saying all the shit?)
I had a good laugh over “Shit Girls Say.”
Then, monthly visitor comes.
I’m lying in bed
Curled in the fetal position
iPhone in hand.
Someone posted “Shit Girls Say.”
I could use a laugh.
I tighten my legs.
I watch it again.
I don’t laugh.
Maybe it’s because my inner bitch is raging.
Maybe it’s because I feel an invisible fist flexing
Over and over inside my ample stomach.
Maybe I’m in a shitty mood.
All I can see:
A man dressed in bad drag
Making fun of women
Silently mocking transgendered.
It does not please the cramps.
It reeks of misogyny.
I am not amused.
I want to make my own video:
“Shit Women Go Through To Bring Men Into The World”
Said video would show me lying in the fetal position crying
Because the damn cramps hurt really, really bad.
Said video would flash back to my two prior c-sections
Resulting in the births of two beautiful baby boys.
Said video would have me on a mount giving a diatribe:
We make lighthearted comments like “What a good sleep”
Because we feel like we have to make excuses
For the demands our bodies put on us.
Said video would have me state:
I’d like to see you bleed constantly five days a month
With horrible stomach pain for two of those days
And not want to curl up in the fetal position.
I want to pat his cheek. Tell him the twinsies part is still a little funny.
I want to give him a hug. Tell him I know you didn’t mean it like that.
I want to play “32 Flavors” on my Paper Jamz guitar. Serenade him.
I want to hold his hand. Pass him the tissues, while he sits on my sofa and apologizes.
I want to think this video is funny again.
I want tomorrow to come and take the pain away.
Huffington post: Shit Girls Say: It’s Funny, But Why?
Jezebel: Shit Girls Say, Now In Video Form
Bitch Media: Shit Girls Say: I Seriously Don’t Get It
Feministing: Weekly Feminist Reader
Wife Life is a column written by Mandy, The Well-Read Wife on a monthly basis, every other day, or whenever the hell she feels like writing it.